I Struggle Sometimes Too

Written by Cynthia Zuber

I struggle sometimes too
You are not the only one to get blue
This sure is true

I have days
Where I am full of worry
The pain feels so intense
I have doubts and concerns
And life just feels so hard

I write a blog to help others
And share some of what I've learned
With those that have this same health condition
That can demand so much--
Diabetes

It's important for me to let you know that
Although I've worked hard to heal
Through an everyday full-time effort
And have figured some stuff out...

I still have a long way to go
To get to where I feel I've made it
That I've got it all under control
All of the many emotions
And this health of mine
That likes to be coddled
And treated so tenderly
One misstep
And it lets me know
And not in any way
So delicate
But fierce and punishing--
My mind, body and spirit feel it's blow!

Some days I feel the progress
I've worked so hard to reach
Through struggles, pain, tears, anger and frustration
On these hours, days and weeks
Peace and joy have been attained

My heart feels happy and bright
My eyes glisten with light and hope
I feel so positive
Like everything will be okay

I love when I feel this way
So happy and free
Full of health
Like nothing will stop me

Then other days
It feels like my healing has just begun
I have so much pain
and heartache
It hurts so much
I feel so stuck
Where did all my light go?
It just feels so hard
And like it's too much
My health...
And this life of mine

I just want you to know
That I struggle sometimes too

Some days so tired
For no reason at all
Other days after waking up in the night
with a low blood sugar or two

I'm not here writing each week
With all the answers
I've just embarked on this healing journey
Publicly

So please be gentle with me
These feelings I so openly share
Because it's not always easy
To be so transparent

As a sensitive person
I feel everything more deeply
The moments that are so happy
Also the sad ones too

Please just promise me this
That you won't ever compare
Your life
To what I share online
The smiles
The laughs
And stories
Because I struggle sometimes too

Through my sharing
The good and bad
You can know
That you are never alone

I may not have the same pain
But I understand hurt too
The way you can look at those who are so healthy
And want that same health for yourself
After all, wouldn't things be easier then?

Without a high blood sugar to make you feel down
None of the pokes that get so old
Being able to skip that walk
With no fear of going to 300

I just never want you to feel sorrow
Thinking I've got it all figured out
Because I don't
I just do my best

I make sure to smile each day
And before going to sleep at night
Count my blessings--
The things I have to be grateful for

No matter how challenging my day
There's always something positive
Renewing my tired spirit
And belief in all things good

Yet, I struggle sometimes too

Many blessings to you
And that dear heart of yours
That's also sometimes blue

 

In Peace & Wellness,

Cynthia

 

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