Intimacy, Experts & Underwear

Written by Eliot LeBow, LCSW, CDE
 
 

 

 
My last blog “Sex, Pumps & Underwear” stirred up some interesting comments, questions and opinions. That got me to think about what people say on the Internet and how others perceive what they say. 
 
I had mentioned sex and how pocked underwear can help improve intimacy. One individual believed that I was saying to wear the pump during sex. Communication is a tricky thing on the Internet, as we only have the content to understand the message, and that makes miscommunication more common. 
 
When talking in person, only 20% of how we receive, perceive and understand information is found in the context of the conversation. Verbal and non-verbal cues makeup the majority of communication. Those would be the tone of one's voice, eye contact and other body languages. 
 
When I was referring to intimacy I was not referring to the act of sex itself but how the underwear conceals the pump. It does this in such a way that you and your partner will be less distracted by its presence and more focused on each other. 
 
When reading people’s testimonials, comments or suggestions, how would anyone know if what those people are saying would be good advice? The truth is that we don’t know. 
 
There is a lot of misinformation on the Internet in the diabetes community. I realize that information, like many things, can’t be controlled. But maybe I could help others be more discerning in their selections—help people make better decisions in life and around their diabetes. 
 
After all I am a diabetes-focused psychotherapist and my job is to help people make better choices for themselves and their unique set of needs. No person with diabetes is the same. We are all unique individuals and require different solutions to similar problems.  
 
If we are all different, then how do we choose what is best for us? It is about making the most informed decision possible with the information we have about our needs, as well as external information that comes from research. 
 
The Expert? 
Everyone is an expert. Not of everyone else, but of themselves. You are an expert on you! What you feel and your experiences. I can’t tell you what is right for you, but I will give you extra knowledge in my area of expertise, to help you make better decisions for yourself. 
 
Having diabetes and experiences while living with diabetest doesn't make you an expert in what or how others should take care of their diabetes-related problems. I have lived with diabetes since 1977, which doesn’t make me an expert on diabetes either. 
 
Everyone is different while experiencing similar events in different ways. Knowledge gathered from just one person’s perspective should not be considered accurate or factual. It is important to look at many points of view while making sure the sources are reliable. 
 
Let’s look at my knowledge on diabetes, which is more than just my point of view. I can tell you that I don’t know everything but what I do know is because I have spent years studying and working with hundreds of people living with diabetes. When I share information, I make sure that there is research to back up what I say. 
 
I spent years learning from experts on diabetes before passing the certified diabetes educator exam. I earned a master in social work and went on to receive my clinical license to practice psychotherapy. The above means that I passed many tests on every aspect of psychotherapy and diabetes. 
 
I continue to learn and increase my knowledge base keeping up with the latest information, and I understand that what works for me does not mean it will work for you. My intention is to help others make the best decision they can by adding to their knowledge base. After all, the more information you have to make your decision the better off you are. 
 
I still personally love pocketed underwear, but you have to decide if they will work for you. My previous article gives information on how pocketed underwear resolve some problems that come with several pumps. 
 
If you have issues that a new pair of underwear just won’t resolve feel free to reach out and schedule a free 30minute consultation to see if talk therapy will work for you.